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MESSAGE FROM THE RABBI

Frequently Asked Questions

How is yahrzeit observed?
Yartzheit is observed for the same seven relatives for whom we recite Kaddish—mother, father, son, daughter, sister, brother and spouse.  We observe yahrzeit every year on the Hebrew date of death. At home we light a memorial or yahrzeit candle that burns throughout the day (by day we mean the Jewish day, beginning at sundown and ending at sundown).  Since the Mourner’s Kaddish is said only in the presence of a minyan, we seek out a minyan, a prayer service of at least ten Jews so we can recite the Kaddish.  If it’s at all possible, we arrange to lead part or all of the prayer service in honor of our loved one.  If there is a Torah reading on the day of our yahrzeit (in the morning service on Shabbat or holidays, including Rosh Chodesh, and every Monday and Thursday), we may ask to be given an aliyah to the Torah.

If the yahrzeit falls on a weekday and we are unable to attend services on that day, we try to attend Shabbat services (Friday night and/or Saturday morning) on a Shabbat near the actual yahrzeit date.  At those times, the name of our loved one is announced by the Rabbi just before the final Mourner’s Kaddish of the service (along with the list of all the congregation’s yahrzeits for the upcoming week.  On Shabbat morning, the ushers have a list of congregants who are observing yahrzeit that week and they assign as many honors as there are available to those people.

That leaves one of the most important and wonderful ways to honor the memory of a loved one: by performing acts of chesed (kindness).  We can visit a sick friend, offer to run an errand for an elderly neighbor, phone someone we love whom we haven’t spoken to in too long, volunteer to deliver Meals on Wheels that day, donate blood or perform some other kindness.  In this way, not only do we give honor to our loved one, but we also nurture our own souls.

How are the aliyot assigned on Shabbat morning?
With the exception of Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, the first aliyah is always given to a descendent of the Kohanim (priests) who officiated at the ancient Temple—in others words, to a Kohen.  There are about two dozen Kohanim in our congregation and they, of necessity, receive aliyot far more often than other people.  The second aliyah is assigned to a Levi.  We have about twice as many Levi’im as Kohanim, but being a Levi still means you will have more opportunities for an aliyah than those of us who are not descended from the priestly class—that is, one of the Yisraelim.

After the first and second aliyot, the rest are given to Yisraelim—except, of course, the Maftir aliyah, which is always assigned to the person who will chant the Haftarah.  How do our ushers choose people for the remaining aliyot?  If it is a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, all but two of the aliyot are pre-assigned by the family of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.  However many aliyot are left unassigned, the ushers try to assign to the following people: those who are in mourning (though not during the Shiva period), those observing yahrzeit, those about to leave on or just returning from a long journey, those recovering from major illness or surgery, some who just experienced a milestone (birth of a first grandchild or the like) or visitors to the shul.  Having assigned these people aliyot, the usher offers the remaining aliyot to people who have not had an aliyah recently.  This is where the ushers need help.  Since no one is in shul every week (not even the ushers), it isn’t always possible for them to know who has and has not had an aliyah recently.  So we ask your help.  If you have had an aliyah recently and are offered another, please let the usher know so he or she can offer it to someone else who has not had an aliyah recently.  And if you feel comfortable about mentioning to the ushers the name of someone you’re aware of who has not had an aliyah in a number of months, please do so and we’ll do the best we can to get that person on the bima.

When are we supposed to say Amen?
Amen is very important business!  Don’t underestimate it.  A few years ago in one of our adult education class we made a list of synonyms: All right!  I agree!  And how!  Right on!  You said it!  I couldn’t agree more!  I second that emotion!  I’m with you!  Couldn’t have said it better myself!  Yes!  Yes, indeed!

When someone is leading prayer, he or she reads all the words of the prayers.  When the prayer leader reaches a blessing, a berachah, it is our job to respond with “Amen!”  This is our affirmation that we, too, agree with all the words spoken and send to God exactly the words uttered by the prayer leader.  When we pray individually it’s a different matter. We don’t add an “amen” at the end of each blessing we recite because we’ve just spoken the blessing ourselves.  It’s when someone else recites the words of the prayer or blessing as our messenger that we respond “Amen.” If we have read the prayer only in part or have read more slowly than the prayer leader or are reading another part of the Siddur, or if we are lost in our own thoughts or personal prayers, we can affirm the entirety of the prayer by adding “Amen” to the words of the prayer leader.

So shout it out!  When at the beginning of every prayer service the prayer leader (our Cantor, our Rabbi, or a lay leader of prayer) recites in Hebrew the blessing thanking God for making us a Jew, respond “Amen” with conviction.  When he or she recites the blessing thanking God for opening our eyes that morning, for clothing us, for satisfying our needs, for giving strength to the weary, let God (and perhaps yourself) know you agree with a heartfelt “Amen!”  Later in the services, when the prayer leader recites the blessing thanking God for creating the sun and the moon, for choosing our people with love, for blessing us with peace, and all the other exquisite berachot (blessings), make sure to pronounce your agreement by responding “Amen!”

Why do some people use other prayer books during the Shabbat services?
The Ritual committee makes available a small collection of alternate Siddurim (prayer books) and Chumashim (books of Torah) in the sanctuary.  Those of us who’ve been to lots of other shuls know that’s not an unusual practice.  In fact, if you davven in the summer at the Nyack Camp Ramah, you know there’s an amazing choice of prayer books and Chumashim to choose from.  The same is true at lots of Orthodox and some Conservative synagogues.

There’s a lot to be said for using different books from time to time.  The translations from Hebrew to English can be quite different from Siddur to Siddur and Chumash to Chumash.  The layouts of pages and the page numbers themselves vary from book to book.  The commentary in many Siddurim and Chumashim is very different from one to the other.  Some of the choices you’ll have are books that are commonly used in other branches of Judaism—Reform, Orthodox and Reconstructionist.  The differences are fascinating.

If you’re interested in looking at different prayer books and Chumashim, you’ll find the alternative versions in the bookshelf attached to one of the tallis racks in the area between the social hall and the sanctuary.  Feel free to bring a copy with you to your seat during services.  Follow along with the prayer leader, or strike out on your own.  At the end of the services, please return the alternative Siddurim and Chumashim to the racks from which you got them so they’ll be available for others.  And enjoy!

Exactly when do we bow during the Amidah (also called the Silent Devotion, Shemoneh Esrei or the Tefillah)?
There are precisely four times when we bow during the Amidah.  That’s the most bowing we do during the entire Shabbat or weekday service.  The reason we bow is probably known intuitively to everyone-—e bow to show respect and humility.  We bow because when we recite the words of the Amidah, we are standing before God and speaking directly to God.  Bowing can be a profound way of reminding ourselves that during the Amidah we are standing directly in God’s presence.

When and how do we bow?  We bow twice during the first berachah (blessing) of the Amidah.  The first time is during the first three words of this prayer.  At the first word, baruch (blessed), we bend our knees.  At the second word, attah (are You), we bow from the waist.  Then we quickly rise into an upright position for the third word of this blessing, which is God’s name (Adonai).  This first blessing of the Amidah is exactly the same in every Amidah, morning, afternoon and evening on weekdays, Shabbat and holidays.  It is called the Avot (Ancestors) blessing because in it we speak to God about Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, and Jacob, Rachel and Leah.  It is an unusual blessing because it both begins and ends with the formula of a berachah (blessing):  “Baruch attah Hashem...”  When we reach this formula for the second time, signaling the end of this berachah, we again bow in precisely the same way and at the same exact words as we did at the very beginning of the blessing.

The third bow comes during the next to last blessing of the Amidah, which is also exactly the same in every Amidah.  It begins “Modim anachnu lach…” (“We give thanks to you…”) and is called the Hoda’ah or blessing of thanks.  This time we bow from the waist without first bending at the knees.  We bow at the word “Modim” and slowly rise back into an upright position.  At the end of that same blessing, the very next time we begin the traditional formula for a blessing (“Baruch attah Hashem…”), we bow from the knees at the word Baruch (Blessed), at the waist for the word attah (are You), and quickly rise to an upright position for God’s name.  This is the fourth and final bow during the Amidah.

How do people know the details of each prayer service during the year?
If it’s important for you to know the details of the Jewish calendar on a daily or weekly basis, you may want to consider purchasing a copy of the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism’s luach.  The luach is a small spiral-bound book published each year in late August that sets down all the details of Jewish prayer and ritual for the upcoming year.  It begins with Rosh Hashanah and takes us through every Shabbat, every major and minor holiday, every Rosh Chodesh and fast day, every season.

The format of the luach is like that of a calendar, taking us through day by day in turn.  There are many different luchot (the plural of luach) published, but United Synagogue’s is one of the most user friendly, explaining in English all the details of all the prayer services and other observances throughout the year.

If you’d like to have a look at the luach, the synagogue owns a copy that resides on the bima in the cabinet on the Rabbi’s side.  You’re welcome to have a look before or after services, or at other times during the week.  Each year, the Ritual Committee buys a few extra copies that can be purchased by individuals from the synagogue office.  If you’d like to have one of your own, please be in touch with Helaine in the office during the week or with Beth on Sunday mornings.

What are the English readings that are read on Shabbat morning just after we open the ark for the Torah service?
These selections are from a variety of different sources, modern and ancient.  On the bimah is a folder containing several dozen readings gathered by the Ritual Committee.  The Rabbi usually chooses one of them to read on a given Shabbat, or selects a poem or short writing from another source.  If there are English readings that move you and seem to be proper for that point in the service, please send a copy in to the Ritual Committee.

Why do some people move back and forth or up and down when they pray? 
Some people move when they pray and some don’t.  Some people always move when they pray and some people only move when the prayer moves them.  Some people move when they pray so the prayer can more easily move them.  There are few rules about these things.

There are a couple of times when our movements at prayer are a bit limited.  For example, when we pray the Amidah, we stand, keep our feet together and don’t move them until we finish the prayer.  That doesn’t mean we can’t move; it just means we have to be creative and move in ways that leave our feet firmly planted.  Similarly, during the Shema we are seated and therefore also somewhat limited in how we can move.

When I speak about movement during prayer, I’m not talking about specific choreographed movements like bowing when we say “va-anachnu kor’im” during Aleinu.  What I’m referring to are the free-form or spontaneous movements that some people call shuckeling—rhythmically bowing (slightly), or rocking back and forth or side to side.  Why do people make these movements?  To increase concentration on the prayer.  To involve their whole body in prayer.  Perhaps even to soothe themselves in order to concentrate better on prayer.  And when do people make these movements?  Usually people move during our most intense prayer—the Amidah.  But basically, people move when prayer becomes intense for them or when they wish to have prayer become intense.  The movements seem to either arise from the intensity of prayer or from the desire for intensity.

If this kind of movement during prayer doesn’t come naturally to you, you might consider some experimentation.  You may find that even slight swaying or rocking increases the depth of prayer for you.

How can I learn to put on Tefillin?
The congregation owns several pair of extra kosher Tefillin.  If you’d like to learn how to put them on, the Sunday morning minyan (always at 9am in the sanctuary) is the place to learn.  Let the Rabbi know ahead of time that you would like to learn and arrange to arrive ten or fifteen minutes early to the Sunday morning minyan for several weeks.  After a few weeks of practice, you’ll be able to put them on properly by yourself.

Why do we avoid carrying on Shabbat?
On Shabbat, we’re commanded to avoid all forms of work.  Thank Heaven!  One day a week when we don’t even have to think about cooking, laundry, telephone calls or money.  No wonder Shabbat feels so completely different and so free.

There are lots of different kinds of work we’re excused from.  One of them is carrying.  If we’re inside our own home or any other enclosed space, we can carry things inside that space.  But if we step even one foot outside the enclosed space on Shabbat, we’re forbidden to carry.  Among other things, then, we don’t carry a purse or wallet on Shabbat (carrying money is also forbidden, so there are two reasons not to carry either of those two possessions).  It’s interesting how liberating even a seemingly small change like leaving one’s wallet or purse at home can be.

The first time I followed this rule, I was immediately struck by how unburdened I felt.  Not carrying meant I could be self-sufficient and satisfied with things as they were for that one day.  I didn’t need to think about what to put in my purse or pocket for the day, and what’s even better, I knew there wasn’t even anything I needed to remember for that day.  I didn’t need my checkbook, wallet, appointment book, pens, pencils or telephone.  For that day, everything I needed was already in place, was already taken care of.  I was free!

For those who are considering greater Shabbat observance, consider this one change—not carrying.  Come to shul carrying nothing.  Enjoy the feeling of being without burden.

What is Selichot?
Selichot, the first official service of the High Holiday season, is held on a Saturday night at midnight, between four and ten days before Rosh Hashanah.

Because the service begins so late, we have the custom of gathering a few hours beforehand for study and refreshments, finishing just as midnight approaches so we can begin Selichot.

What is the role of this service and why is it held in the middle of the night?  The word selichot is derived from the Hebrew root salach, meaning to forgive.  It is a unique service in which we ask God’s forgiveness for the wrongs we have committed in the past year.  Thus it deepens the process begun several weeks earlier, at the beginning of the Hebrew month of Elul, of reviewing our past year, making amends to our fellow man for wrongs we have committed against and to God for wrongs we have committed against God.  The service itself centers around the Ashamnu or confessional, several repetitions of the Thirteen Attributes of Divine mercy, and biblical quotations praising God as the Creator and Sustainer of life.  The tone of the service is one of solemnity as we strive to narrow the gap between what we are and what we hope to be.

Why in the middle of the night?  The Selichot service is meant to be recited at dawn, before the morning prayer service.  Rather than arise at a very early hour on Sunday morning, it has become the practice to recite it at midnight.

It is a very beautiful service and one that is an important prelude, for many of us, to the High Holiday services that follow soon thereafter.